Stats:
I almost forgot - I guess I should list when I'm getting ultrasounds and how much meds I'm taking - for those of you who are also going through the same thing and or thinking about going through the same thing:
Birth Control Pills from March 23rd - April 14th
Started Suprefact April 8th - 0.5mg
April 19th - Had ultrasound which found the cyst
April 20th - Was supposed to start the meds, but have to wait for cyst to go away
April 21st - Blood test in the morning, clinic calls in the afternoon and gives us the green light to start the meds
Meds: 200IU Puregon, 75IU and still doing 0.5mg Suprefact (all in the evening between 6 - 9pm)
April 24th - Blood test: Clinic calls and says to bump up my Puregon to 300IU and to come into the clinic on Monday for blood test and ultrasound
April 27th - Blood test & ultrasound: 10 eggs growing, but they're small - continue with the same meds and go back on Thursday
April 30th - Blood test and ultrasound: Still have 10 eggs, only 2 are mature - continue wuth the same meds and go back tomorrow
May 1st - Ultrasound only: about 3 mature eggs - Dr decided it best to trigger tonite - Trigger shot at 9PM - ER at 9AM Sunday
May 3rd - ER: Retreived 10 eggs
May 4th - Embryologist called: of the 10, 8 are mature and of those 8 - 6 fertilized
May 5th - Embryologist called: of the 6 fertilized, all 6 are still going strong
May 6th - Appt at the clinic to talk about what to do with embabies: decided (through many tears) to hold out for a 5 day transfer
May 7th - Embryologist called: of the 6, all 6 are still growing and doing there thing: 2, maybe 3 seem to the the best ones
May 8th - Appt for ET:
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Starting the terrifying wait
9 days into stimming - Well, as you can see above, the ultrasound was good, and not so good. Good in the fact that I have 10 eggs and the cycle didn't get canceled, but not so good in the fact that they're growing slowly, and I'll need to continue on with the meds a few more days. Just the thought of being on the meds longer, is awful. My poor belly - it's official, I'm going to have to switch to sweat pants on a daily basis, even work, as it's just too painful to sit at my desk wearing jeans. It's kinda funny, sitting at my desk with my pants open, but man, it needs to be done.
I was scared going to the appointment at the clinic as I wasn't sure what to expect - I always try to hope for the best, but expect the worst. I would have been devastated if the cycle had to have been canceled or something, but we're good to go on that front. I read all the time about women in the States who get 15, 20, 25 eggs - is it just an American thing to get that many? My Dr was pleased that I only have 10. Though, honestly, there can be more he just didn't see *here's hoping*
Anyways, I'm supposed to carry on with the same dose of all meds and go back to the clinic on Thursday (today being Tuesday) for another ultrasound and blood test - hopefully they'll know more now - cuz all Dr H said was 'You're ER will be next week sometime' <-- Which was a bummer, considering it was originally scheduled for this coming Friday. We were so looking forward to getting the 'show on the road', as they say. Having it delayed and having to do more meds... well, it sucks, nough said.
Last night I started doing yoga poses, with soft, soothing music and a candle burning while having a wee pep talk with my eggs, telling them to grow, fast and healthy and plenty. <-- Hey, you laugh, but when you're going through this - you'll try damn near anything!!
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I never knew the stress involved
Day 11 of stimming: Well, I sit here, through a haze of tears - part meds I'm on and part news we got this AM. Had another ultrasound - I still have 10 follicles, however, only 2 of them are mature right now. I have 2 that are 18 and the rest are smaller. One at 9 another at 10 and a few others in the 12 - 16mm range. If we wait too long to get in and get them, the 2 18's will be too big and there-fore, to old to do anything with. But, if we go in now, we'll only get 2. I have to go back for another ultrasound/blood work tomorrow AM and we'll see whats going on then. Dr H figures the ER will be Sunday or Monday. I'm terrified that we'll only get 2... and just cuz there's a follicle, doesn't mean there will be an egg in it - so potentially with 2, we could end up with one, or none. Here's what Dr H has on his website:
Say you have 10 follicles
7 of those have eggs in them
Only 6 of the 7 are mature
5 of the 6 fertilized
Only 3 are good quality embryos
2 transferred, 1 frozen *and not everyone gets any strong enough to freeze*
So - you can see why I'm crying now? I'm trying to be positive, but its hard right now - between the meds and the news - I'm a wreck. I got sent home from work and told not to come in tomorrow either - thank you Sarrah.
This sucks!!
Back to the clinic tomorrow morning to see what's going on - come on eggs - grow babies, grow!
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Sooo scared.... I'm sick of fighting so hard, for something that should come so easily - and does come easily to most! <-- Sorry, had to vent - again. Man I cant wait til these meds are out of my system, LOL
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A crying mess
I hear, from my acupuncturist, that if Dr H thinks you don't have enough eggs or whatever, that he'll cancel the cycle and I hear he cancels a lot of them. So thats a plus, as he thinks everything will still work!? <-- I'm trying to focus on that! There is still a chance that a few of the other eggs will catch up - we're just walking a real fine line right now - wait too long, and the 2 good ones will be gone, or go in now and only get 2. I had to take an additional dose of my meds tonite and back to the clinic tomorrow. Another thing too - once they give me the trigger shot, that also helps mature/grow the eggs and eggs can grow 1 - 3mm per day - I'm hoping for 3mm for the smaller ones, and 1mm per day for the big ones <-- is that too much to ask for? :) From all the shit I've been through, I don't think thats too much to ask! I've been a blubbering baby all freakin day. Cried on my way to work.... got teary eyed at work, got sent home from work and cried as soon as I got here. Finally calmed down, ate lunch and fixed my make up so I could go to acupuncture and as son as I said I only have 2 mature eggs right now - the waterworks came on again - strong. Poor Rachele had me come sit on the bed as she rubbed my knee and we chatted, whole I cried. Then, I thought I was better - til she was putting needles in - they were hurting extra today - prolly from stress and being sooo tired of needles - and again, I started crying and she had to stop. Finally, good to go again and cried a wee bit on the way home. Then cried again when I got home... cried a wee bit when I told Mom about it tonite - and now, I seem to be all dried out and have no tears left!! hehehe Seriously, I laugh, but I honestly don't think I have any tears left!? :)
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Triggering tonite!
Well - just back from the clinic now - I have 3 or 4 eggs!? 3 I think, that are ready - I tried not to pay too much attention to it cuz I didn't want it to freak me out - tho I should have paid attention - cuz I'm freaked right the fuck out. Been crying since we left the clinic. Terrified that they're only get 2 eggs or something........ I'm not sure I can go through this again and I REALLY hope and pray I wont have to!! I have too much invested in this one round - I've given up everything, and about to give up more. Had to give up coffee/caffeine, I can no longer workout, I cant have junk food, I've had about 48 needles in my belly in the past 3 weeks, the emotional toll of it all........ it's hell, it really is. And that doesn't even include the fact that this round is costing us about $9500.00!!!
So - we're triggering tonite at 9PM and the ER will be on Sunday at 9AM.
Now, now is when we need the prayers n happy thoughts n naked fertility dances - we need them from right this second, until the pregnancy test.............. Oh my God - Don't make me have to do this again!
PS - Still hoping and praying with everything that we have, that more eggs will mature/grow between now and Sunday AM!!!
Needless to say, it's been a rough couple days - cried all day yesterday and today has started the same way............. this sucks and I wouldn't wish it on..... OK, OK, I can't lie, there is the odd person I'd wish this on, but most people, no way - NO ONE should have to go through this hell!!
There you have it - welcome to my hell. I've been through IUI's and thought I'd at least have a small idea of the stress I'd be going through with this - turns out - not so much. You cant even compare them!!!
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Nervous, and then some
OMG, I'm so nervous right now. We leave to go for my ER, within minutes and I'm terrified. Yeah, they SAY there's no pain - but do I trust them - not really. I'll believe no pain, when I FEEL no pain! :) That, and I really am scared that they're only gonna get 1 or 2 eggs. I've been doing my yoga poses and talking to my eggs, telling them to grow big n strong and make us some healthy babies. Well, within in the hour-ish, we'll find out if they listened.
I really wish I'd have had some inclination of the stress we were going to go through for this entire process - you think it can't possibly be too much worse than what you've already been through. Man, was I wrong in that thinking.
Christina called me last night and wished me luck and told me all 4 of them over there are crossing their fingers and praying that everything goes good. She's just too sweet and, I might add, the only one that called and said anything about the ER - Oh Christina, how I love thee.
Day after retrieval
Day after retrieval - So glad that's done. No pain MY ASS!!! It took Dr H forever to find a vein to put in the IV - which isn't unusual. Then, they put in the 'good drugs' or so they called them. Well, Let's just say, I felt pain and they couldn't get enough drugs in me, to stop the pain. Thank God it didn't take too long - about 10 - 15 minutes I think!? Feeling needles going through your vagina, isn't an experience I'd wish on many - I'm not gonna lie, there might be the odd person I can think of who should... hehehe Shhhh
The recovery, for the rest of the day, was terrible. I felt like someone kicked me in the stomach, while someone else, wearing a stiletto heel, kicked me in the vagina and yet one other person, wearing a steel toed boot, kicked me in the back. Not much fun at all.
BUT, they got 10 eggs!! 10!? The embryologist figures that about 9 of them will be mature, though they wouldn't know anymore until later that day. 10 - YAY - I was so excited to hear that number!! Now, we just have to pray they all fertilize and we go from there. They're going to be calling us within the next 2 hours to let us know how many fertilized........ praying that most of them did! Go eggs n sperm, put your game face on, now is the time!!!
I'm hoping for a 5 day transfer, as they can be even a bit more successful than a 3 day, but hey, beggers can't be choosers, I'll take whatever I can get!
*crossing fingers for many fertilized eggs*
6 have now fertilized!!! Go embabies, go!
We got the call from our embryologist, out of 10 eggs, 8 of them were mature. Of the 8 mature ones, 6 of them fertilized!! Go egg n sperm go!! Now, it's more of a waiting game - we have to wait until tomorrow, to see if they're all still growing or not. It's terribly..... nerve wracking, to say the least.
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